Master FOB responded to my post about Prop 8. I filter my responses, but allowed his for 2 reasons. One, I like and respect him. Two, he is right. The Church did indeed spend much time and money to pass Prop 8 in California.
It has been a while since Ben made this comment. He also sent some links. Not all of them worked, but I investigated a lot more anyway. I found a few interesting things. First of all, as the end of days gets closer, moral issues are getting more political, not just societal. And as I said before, the Church does not involved in political issues, per se, but it does get involved in moral issues.
This is a moral issue for the Church. NOT that it is trying to squelch, alienate, combat, or even confront homosexuals. For the Church, it is all about marriage and the family. This is certainly a hot issue and one that can be debated for ages. That is not my intent and I will not allow that here. And there are other LEGAL issues involved here, looking to future conflict and persecutions for the Church.
I think this kind of marks a turning point for the Church in that it is now really getting out there and making a greater effort, even greater financial efforts, to uphold its stance on moral issues. This may be the biggest instance so far, but it will not be the last or the biggest ever. I know things will get worse. And it won't just be homosexual issues.
But the Church did spend a lot of money, make a lot of effort, and ask its members to do what they could to promote a positive vote on Proposition 8 in California. It's true. SO WHAT?!?!?
It does not mean that the Gospel of Jesus Christ is not true. It does not mean that the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints is not the true church of God. It does not mean that the Church and/or its members hate homosexuals. Some people do, and some of those people are members of the Church. there are also church members that are racist, or that molest children, or that steal, or that lie. Members of the Church are no more perfect than homosexuals. But, generally, many of them tend to be more closed-minded and ignorant when it comes the issue of sexuality.
Recently, the legislature of the state where I live considered a bill that which, if passed, would mean that our state would not recognize marriages performed in other states or countries for homosexual couples. That means if a gay couple was married, then moved to this state, they would not be considered married here.
This bill was, fortunately, defeated by a good majority. It is very sad to me that this issue has to be a battle. I believe firmly that sanctified marriage is for and between man and woman. But I also love my SSA friends and do not want to alienate or offend them.
Saturday, February 14, 2009
Saturday, January 03, 2009
The End of a Chapter
A couple weeks ago, Samantha and I had a visit from Maurice (Sam's father and our Stake President.) We talked about how I would soon be released as Bishop. This is actually the second time he and I talked about it. He had already explained to me that there are big changes coming in our stake and that Salt Lake said, since I would be released in just a couple more months anyway, to go ahead and do it sooner with all the other changes.
But there are two big things for me here. First, I do not want to be released. I love my YSA ward. I do not know anyone in my family ward. Three years ago, Maurice came to visit us one night and issued this calling to me. I bawled. I already had fallen in love with this YSA ward. The bishop at that time had been a long time friend whom I loved and respected. And I had already had some interaction with this ward. I cried because I knew that I would one day be released. I cannot believe the time is already here. That totally sucks. (Yes, some bishops say "suck.")
I will try to hang out at the Institute building where the members of our YSA wards meet and hang out. Thanks to them, I have a couple hundred young, beautiful Facebook friends.
The second thing is new callings. Maurice mentioned to me that my family ward Bishop already had a calling for me. That really bummed me out. I don't want to work in our family. (Yeah, bad attitude, not exactly the "I'll go where you want to go" type of thing.) He told me this the first time when he said I would be released soon. But this night when he came to talk to Sam and me, he mentioned he had another calling, for both of us. I guess I shouldn't say too much about it or exactly what it is. But i will say that we will get to work together, work with various church leaders, and work with the SSA issue in the church. I AM TOTALLY PSYCHED!!! This could be big. I think we are the first ones in the church with such a responsibility. Hopefully, we will help a lot of people, dispose of a lot of ignorance, and educate a lot of members. More later ...
I guess when one chapter ends, sometimes another one begins.
But there are two big things for me here. First, I do not want to be released. I love my YSA ward. I do not know anyone in my family ward. Three years ago, Maurice came to visit us one night and issued this calling to me. I bawled. I already had fallen in love with this YSA ward. The bishop at that time had been a long time friend whom I loved and respected. And I had already had some interaction with this ward. I cried because I knew that I would one day be released. I cannot believe the time is already here. That totally sucks. (Yes, some bishops say "suck.")
I will try to hang out at the Institute building where the members of our YSA wards meet and hang out. Thanks to them, I have a couple hundred young, beautiful Facebook friends.
The second thing is new callings. Maurice mentioned to me that my family ward Bishop already had a calling for me. That really bummed me out. I don't want to work in our family. (Yeah, bad attitude, not exactly the "I'll go where you want to go" type of thing.) He told me this the first time when he said I would be released soon. But this night when he came to talk to Sam and me, he mentioned he had another calling, for both of us. I guess I shouldn't say too much about it or exactly what it is. But i will say that we will get to work together, work with various church leaders, and work with the SSA issue in the church. I AM TOTALLY PSYCHED!!! This could be big. I think we are the first ones in the church with such a responsibility. Hopefully, we will help a lot of people, dispose of a lot of ignorance, and educate a lot of members. More later ...
I guess when one chapter ends, sometimes another one begins.
Modern Gay Politics: Part 2
I apologize for the delay of this post. Actually, I was going to write about something else, but noticed I never finished my thoughts on this topic. So here it is ...
There are some ideas out there that should be dispelled. 1. The Church does NOT get involved in politics. It does not say what political candidates should be supported and who should not. However, it does take a strong stance on some political, or rather SOCIAL issues, such as gambling, abortion, and gay marriage. It is the nature of the Church to influense others, and even push their beliefs on others. We call that missionary work. We want everyone to believe as we do and we want our society to reflect our beliefs.
2. The Church did NOT finance any campaigning or efforts to promote Prop 8 or oppose gay marriage. The Church also does not tell members to spend their money on this. Being a Bishop, I receive all correspondence that the First Presidency sends out when they want to communicate to the members about issues. They ask that their letters be read from the pulpit, which simply state the church's position regarding the issues.
I lived in California when the state was considering starting a lottery. The letter out stating that lotteries are a form of gambling and the Church/Gospel is strictly opposed to gambling. That's basically about it. Sometimes members take it upon themselves to finance certain efforts to promote or oppose certain points of view. The efforts of those members should not be confused with those of the Church. I have heard people say that the CHURCH financed advertising and other efforts to promote Prop 8 and oppose gay marriage. It did not. It did not finance any such efforts, nor did it tell the members to spend their money to do so.
3. I agree that most members of the church are still pretty ignorant and do not understand anything about SSA. And I believe that a lot of their support for Prop 8 was done out of ignorance and misunderstanding. I think that the issue blew up to look like many people showing their outward hatred of gays. I think that was wrong.
4. If given the chance, I would vote to outlaw tobacco, alcohol, stores being open on Sunday, etc. And yet, I love my smoking relatives, my alcoholic friends, my sabbath-breaking co-workers, and I love my gay friends. I kind of wish Prop 8 never happened.
There are some ideas out there that should be dispelled. 1. The Church does NOT get involved in politics. It does not say what political candidates should be supported and who should not. However, it does take a strong stance on some political, or rather SOCIAL issues, such as gambling, abortion, and gay marriage. It is the nature of the Church to influense others, and even push their beliefs on others. We call that missionary work. We want everyone to believe as we do and we want our society to reflect our beliefs.
2. The Church did NOT finance any campaigning or efforts to promote Prop 8 or oppose gay marriage. The Church also does not tell members to spend their money on this. Being a Bishop, I receive all correspondence that the First Presidency sends out when they want to communicate to the members about issues. They ask that their letters be read from the pulpit, which simply state the church's position regarding the issues.
I lived in California when the state was considering starting a lottery. The letter out stating that lotteries are a form of gambling and the Church/Gospel is strictly opposed to gambling. That's basically about it. Sometimes members take it upon themselves to finance certain efforts to promote or oppose certain points of view. The efforts of those members should not be confused with those of the Church. I have heard people say that the CHURCH financed advertising and other efforts to promote Prop 8 and oppose gay marriage. It did not. It did not finance any such efforts, nor did it tell the members to spend their money to do so.
3. I agree that most members of the church are still pretty ignorant and do not understand anything about SSA. And I believe that a lot of their support for Prop 8 was done out of ignorance and misunderstanding. I think that the issue blew up to look like many people showing their outward hatred of gays. I think that was wrong.
4. If given the chance, I would vote to outlaw tobacco, alcohol, stores being open on Sunday, etc. And yet, I love my smoking relatives, my alcoholic friends, my sabbath-breaking co-workers, and I love my gay friends. I kind of wish Prop 8 never happened.
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
Modern Gay Politics: Part 1
Poli: from the latin, meaning 'many'; tics: little insects that burrow under your skin and suck the blood out of you. Hence - "Politics"
There is a lot of hubbub about California's Proposition 8, which would define marriage as "between one man and one woman." So not only does that exclude gay marriage, it also excludes plural marriage. Polygamy has actually never been outlawed. Bigamy has. And most polygamists go to jail for reasons other than plural marriage. But I digress. A 'yes' vote for Prop 8 means no gay marriage, in California.
There has been a lot of discussion among church members about this, especially SSA church members. Some even think that, "I would never do it, but should be permissible for others to have that choice. Therefore, it should not be a law."
But it is already a law in the church, or at least official doctrine. In The Family: A Proclamation, it states:
I do not mean to be mean or critical. I think I now have many gay friends and truly wish they can find great happiness in their lives. However, I will hold to the doctrine.
(more in Part 2)
There is a lot of hubbub about California's Proposition 8, which would define marriage as "between one man and one woman." So not only does that exclude gay marriage, it also excludes plural marriage. Polygamy has actually never been outlawed. Bigamy has. And most polygamists go to jail for reasons other than plural marriage. But I digress. A 'yes' vote for Prop 8 means no gay marriage, in California.
There has been a lot of discussion among church members about this, especially SSA church members. Some even think that, "I would never do it, but should be permissible for others to have that choice. Therefore, it should not be a law."
But it is already a law in the church, or at least official doctrine. In The Family: A Proclamation, it states:
The first commandment that God gave to Adam and Eve pertained to their potential for parenthood as husband and wife. We declare that God’s commandment for His children to multiply and replenish the earth remains in force. We further declare that God has commanded that the sacred powers of procreation are to be employed only between man and woman, lawfully wedded as husband and wife. ... The family is ordained of God. Marriage between man and woman is essential to His eternal plan. Children are entitled to birth within the bonds of matrimony, and to be reared by a father and a mother who honor marital vows with complete fidelity. Happiness in family life is most likely to be achieved when founded upon the teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ.There it is. No room for gay marriage there. Sorry. Bummer. That is the doctrine and I believe it is eternal and true. The only marriage here is between a man and a woman.
I do not mean to be mean or critical. I think I now have many gay friends and truly wish they can find great happiness in their lives. However, I will hold to the doctrine.
(more in Part 2)
Monday, October 27, 2008
Cell Phone Faux Pas
My job involves service to businesses and organizations. I am typically in 3 to 6 different places a day. Today I had an interesting experience. I happen to be working near the restroom of a large real estate company. During the hour and a half that I was there, that restroom stayed pretty busy.
But then I noticed a lady coming down the hall talking on her cell phone. I though, "No, she won't head for the restroom - not while she's talking on the phone." She headed right for it. I am thinking quickly in the back of my mind while I work, "She'll get off just before she goes in. Bathrooms echo. The person on the end will know..." Nope. She went in and kept talking. I could hear the bathroom echo sound. Before long, I hear the toilet flush, and out she comes, still talking on the phone. "(NNNoooooooooo.... You can't DO that!)"
What was the person on the other end of the call thinking? What was this lady thinking??? What would you think if you were talking to someone, all of a sudden it sounds like they are in a small, tiled room, and then you hear a toilet flush close by???
So ... list of things to NOT do while talking on the cell phone: drive, walk down the street (I've seen people walk out into traffic), shower, chop vegetables, shave, operate a construction crane (or any heavy machinery), race cars, race boats, race anything, juggle machetes, perform a prostate exam, use the toilet. Uh, what else?
But then I noticed a lady coming down the hall talking on her cell phone. I though, "No, she won't head for the restroom - not while she's talking on the phone." She headed right for it. I am thinking quickly in the back of my mind while I work, "She'll get off just before she goes in. Bathrooms echo. The person on the end will know..." Nope. She went in and kept talking. I could hear the bathroom echo sound. Before long, I hear the toilet flush, and out she comes, still talking on the phone. "(NNNoooooooooo.... You can't DO that!)"
What was the person on the other end of the call thinking? What was this lady thinking??? What would you think if you were talking to someone, all of a sudden it sounds like they are in a small, tiled room, and then you hear a toilet flush close by???
So ... list of things to NOT do while talking on the cell phone: drive, walk down the street (I've seen people walk out into traffic), shower, chop vegetables, shave, operate a construction crane (or any heavy machinery), race cars, race boats, race anything, juggle machetes, perform a prostate exam, use the toilet. Uh, what else?
Sunday, October 26, 2008
Baptismal Slides
Funny thoughts. So I am a bishop. We recently had a special "Bishops and Ward Mission Leaders" meeting with the Stake Presidency. Baptisms and retention are up. Yeah for us. I am also very close friends with our Stake President, who is Sam's father, and I know he has a great sense of humor. That's the background. Now for the story.
So I just got an email from the Stake President (Maurice?) with an attachment. The email is entitled "Slides for High Baptizing Wards." Naturally, I see the word 'slides' and think of the slippery playground device. So I start imagining some hilarious picture of a baptismal font, with a man dressed in white standing in the middle of it, people being helped out of the font to the left, one at a time, and a line of people waiting to go down a pool-like slide into the font on the right side - a baptismal assembly line with a slide to help speed things up.
What I got instead was a PowerPoint presentation designed for new Mission Presidents. It was mostly text and not funny at all. I am so irreverent!
So I just got an email from the Stake President (Maurice?) with an attachment. The email is entitled "Slides for High Baptizing Wards." Naturally, I see the word 'slides' and think of the slippery playground device. So I start imagining some hilarious picture of a baptismal font, with a man dressed in white standing in the middle of it, people being helped out of the font to the left, one at a time, and a line of people waiting to go down a pool-like slide into the font on the right side - a baptismal assembly line with a slide to help speed things up.
What I got instead was a PowerPoint presentation designed for new Mission Presidents. It was mostly text and not funny at all. I am so irreverent!
Sunday, October 12, 2008
Time for Change
Okay, I've been gone long enough. And I NEED to get back to writing. Baby steps, though...
My computer (laptop) that I have had for 6 1/2 years crashed on me this past week. It seemed irreparable, so I got a new one. Fun. But being a professionally educated idiot with a Masters Degree in business technology, I certainly did NOT have any of my precious files backed up somewhere.
So I am sitting here in my Bishop's office with my new lappy and counseling with one of my ward members about coping with family stresses, depression, anxiety, abuse, etc. We talk about writing, keeping a journal, counselors, etc. I bring up the subject of blogs, and suggest a few to her to read. I suggest that she might also find it somewhat helpful to write about her thoughts and feelings where others could give her feedback without knowing who she is. She ius quite strong and I think she could handle it.
Then a thought comes to mind, "YOU (meaning me) need to get back to it too!" Fine.
So I have a new member in my ward, a young man, first year in college. He comes to me and confesses he struggles with masturbation and SSA. "YOU'VE COME TO THE RIGHT PLACE," I assure him. Now what do I do? Okay, I'm an idiot. I regurgitate some of the rhetoric that I have picked up over the last couple years from Evergreen, Northern Lights, etc.
But I don't really know how to HELP him. I must be getting really old. I am sending him to YOU, all you other bloggers out there - mainly my favorite ones and those of who who will not destroy him.
As Fall approaches, I am noticing more flat rabbits on the highways. Interesting.
I have a great YSA ward. We had a tremendous Fast-and-Testimony meeting today. The Spirit was definitely strong. Hearts were touched.
Have you seen the new Picasso emoticons? %\ .^
My computer (laptop) that I have had for 6 1/2 years crashed on me this past week. It seemed irreparable, so I got a new one. Fun. But being a professionally educated idiot with a Masters Degree in business technology, I certainly did NOT have any of my precious files backed up somewhere.
So I am sitting here in my Bishop's office with my new lappy and counseling with one of my ward members about coping with family stresses, depression, anxiety, abuse, etc. We talk about writing, keeping a journal, counselors, etc. I bring up the subject of blogs, and suggest a few to her to read. I suggest that she might also find it somewhat helpful to write about her thoughts and feelings where others could give her feedback without knowing who she is. She ius quite strong and I think she could handle it.
Then a thought comes to mind, "YOU (meaning me) need to get back to it too!" Fine.
So I have a new member in my ward, a young man, first year in college. He comes to me and confesses he struggles with masturbation and SSA. "YOU'VE COME TO THE RIGHT PLACE," I assure him. Now what do I do? Okay, I'm an idiot. I regurgitate some of the rhetoric that I have picked up over the last couple years from Evergreen, Northern Lights, etc.
But I don't really know how to HELP him. I must be getting really old. I am sending him to YOU, all you other bloggers out there - mainly my favorite ones and those of who who will not destroy him.
As Fall approaches, I am noticing more flat rabbits on the highways. Interesting.
I have a great YSA ward. We had a tremendous Fast-and-Testimony meeting today. The Spirit was definitely strong. Hearts were touched.
Have you seen the new Picasso emoticons? %\ .^
Wednesday, November 21, 2007
Still MORE Dave Barry (I can't get enough)
The last couple of days of Dave Barry have been too good to keep to myself.
Tuesday, November 20, 2007
TODAY'S ETIQUETTE TOPIC IS: Proper Table Manners.
The rules of etiquette can be tricky. Suppose you sit down to a formal dinner, and there are three forks at your place setting. Which fork should you use? The answer - and here I am quoting from the classic reference work, The Amy and Bud Vanderbilt Guide to Table Manners and Boat Repair - is "the cleanest fork." Using your left hand, and starting with the outside fork, hold each fork up and examine it for signs of crud; if you see any, you should, without drawing attention to yourself, switch it with a fork taken from the person sitting to your immediate right.
Wednesday, November 21, 2007
Sir Isaac Newton, the brilliant mathematician, invented calculus, which is defined as"the branch of mathematics that is so scary it causes everybody to stop studying mathematics." That's the whole POINT of calculus. At college and universities, on the first day of calculus class, the professors go to the board and write huge incomprehensible "equations" that they make up right on the spot, knowing this will cause all the students to drop the course and never return to the mathematics building ever again.
Tuesday, November 20, 2007
TODAY'S ETIQUETTE TOPIC IS: Proper Table Manners.
The rules of etiquette can be tricky. Suppose you sit down to a formal dinner, and there are three forks at your place setting. Which fork should you use? The answer - and here I am quoting from the classic reference work, The Amy and Bud Vanderbilt Guide to Table Manners and Boat Repair - is "the cleanest fork." Using your left hand, and starting with the outside fork, hold each fork up and examine it for signs of crud; if you see any, you should, without drawing attention to yourself, switch it with a fork taken from the person sitting to your immediate right.
Wednesday, November 21, 2007
Sir Isaac Newton, the brilliant mathematician, invented calculus, which is defined as"the branch of mathematics that is so scary it causes everybody to stop studying mathematics." That's the whole POINT of calculus. At college and universities, on the first day of calculus class, the professors go to the board and write huge incomprehensible "equations" that they make up right on the spot, knowing this will cause all the students to drop the course and never return to the mathematics building ever again.
Sunday, November 18, 2007
More Great Dave Barry, Teenager Stuff
I think of Dave Barry as a modern-day Mark Twain. He is very witty, intelligent, a great observer of human nature, and quite funny. Here is another one of his daily calendar excerpts.
Friday, February 16, 2007
In 1964, when I was a student at Pleasentville High School, I had a class with a teacher who had a major odor problem, to the point where, when he'd stroll past the rows of desks, which he did often, students would keel over in his wake. Being teenagers, we might have handled this situation in a cruel manner. But instead, one day, as the teacher walked past, a student in the front row, whose name I will not reveal here, sensitively whipped out a can of Right Guard deodorant, fired off a brief blast, then quickly hid the can before the teacher turned around. This gesture was so sensitive that many of us thought we would rupture key internal organs from vibrating so hard.
Friday, February 16, 2007
In 1964, when I was a student at Pleasentville High School, I had a class with a teacher who had a major odor problem, to the point where, when he'd stroll past the rows of desks, which he did often, students would keel over in his wake. Being teenagers, we might have handled this situation in a cruel manner. But instead, one day, as the teacher walked past, a student in the front row, whose name I will not reveal here, sensitively whipped out a can of Right Guard deodorant, fired off a brief blast, then quickly hid the can before the teacher turned around. This gesture was so sensitive that many of us thought we would rupture key internal organs from vibrating so hard.
Thursday, November 15, 2007
Frustration Leads to Stupidity
Okay, it's just too darn tempting! Anyone who engages in a battle of wits and loses so pitifully, and then resorts violence, is obviously sheltered and immature. If a person says "I will not engage in futile rhetoric", he should stop there and not prattle on with a bunch futile rhetoric. (See comments from last post.) I now understand the irresistible compulsion that Sam and Mr. Fob feel to relentlessly poke fun at Marvin's tremendous ignorance. 
He cannot compete with them on any intellectual level and that frustrates him. So now he has resorted to physical violence. He has threatened Sam, me, our children, Master Fob, and our relatives.
He doesn't get it. THIS IS A BLOG!!! It is a personal forum for WORDS. People have the right to say whatever they feel, and the right to limit access to those who do not belong. What the heck is a bigot like that doing here??? It is exactly his kind of thinking, opinions, and threats that lead to hate crimes, the KKK, and people like Hitler.
So here’s another Dave Barry excerpt. Once in a while, he’ll have a day where he just lists some “great names for a rock band.” This commentary kind of goes along with those.
Friday, January 5, 2007.
I have received some important information via a letter from Claire Nordstrum, thirteen, a student in Wisconsin (state motto: “Moo.”). Claire states that her science teacher told the class that “it’s a proven fact that on average a person eats six spiders in a year.” Another science fact this teacher revealed, according to Claire, is that “wood ticks breathe through their butts.” This sounds logical to me, since if a wood tick had its while head burrowed into your body, it wouldn’t be able to breathe through its face (assuming ticks have faces) unless it was wearing some kind of tiny snorkel, which is unlikely, although I think we all have to agree “The Wood Tick Snorkels” would be an excellent name for a rock band.
Monday, January 29, 2007
- GOOD NAMES FOR ROCK BANDS -
The Flying Shards
The Fierce Prune-Eating Hamsters from Space
Marcel and the Turpitudes
The Groin Whappers
He cannot compete with them on any intellectual level and that frustrates him. So now he has resorted to physical violence. He has threatened Sam, me, our children, Master Fob, and our relatives.He doesn't get it. THIS IS A BLOG!!! It is a personal forum for WORDS. People have the right to say whatever they feel, and the right to limit access to those who do not belong. What the heck is a bigot like that doing here??? It is exactly his kind of thinking, opinions, and threats that lead to hate crimes, the KKK, and people like Hitler.
So here’s another Dave Barry excerpt. Once in a while, he’ll have a day where he just lists some “great names for a rock band.” This commentary kind of goes along with those.
Friday, January 5, 2007.
I have received some important information via a letter from Claire Nordstrum, thirteen, a student in Wisconsin (state motto: “Moo.”). Claire states that her science teacher told the class that “it’s a proven fact that on average a person eats six spiders in a year.” Another science fact this teacher revealed, according to Claire, is that “wood ticks breathe through their butts.” This sounds logical to me, since if a wood tick had its while head burrowed into your body, it wouldn’t be able to breathe through its face (assuming ticks have faces) unless it was wearing some kind of tiny snorkel, which is unlikely, although I think we all have to agree “The Wood Tick Snorkels” would be an excellent name for a rock band.
Monday, January 29, 2007
- GOOD NAMES FOR ROCK BANDS -
The Flying Shards
The Fierce Prune-Eating Hamsters from Space
Marcel and the Turpitudes
The Groin Whappers
More Dave Barry
I suppose it might have been more appropriate to post these on the days to which they correspond. So here is another one I find particularly funny.
Tuesday, November 13, 2007.
SCIENTIFIC QUIZ TO DETERMINE IF YOU ARE A COMPULSIVE GAMBLER:
1. Do large men sometimes break your thumbs?
2. Have you ever lunged accross a table to strangle a seventy-three-year-old grandmother simply because she said, quote, "Bingo"?
3. Have you ever, after gambling away your money and pawning your possessions, said, "Hey, why do I need TWO kidneys?"
4. Have you ever attempted to place a bet on the chariot race in Ben Hur?
5. If so, did you bet against Charlton Heston, your reasoning being that, hey, one of these times he has to lose?
Tuesday, November 13, 2007.
SCIENTIFIC QUIZ TO DETERMINE IF YOU ARE A COMPULSIVE GAMBLER:
1. Do large men sometimes break your thumbs?
2. Have you ever lunged accross a table to strangle a seventy-three-year-old grandmother simply because she said, quote, "Bingo"?
3. Have you ever, after gambling away your money and pawning your possessions, said, "Hey, why do I need TWO kidneys?"
4. Have you ever attempted to place a bet on the chariot race in Ben Hur?
5. If so, did you bet against Charlton Heston, your reasoning being that, hey, one of these times he has to lose?
Wednesday, November 14, 2007
You Might Be A Redneck
The title is for our new friend, Marvin. We have had a lot of fun the last day or so. (Notice I am keeping my words small and I correctly used the phrase "a lot" as 2 seperate words, not one.) Hi Marvin.So I have been admiring the great work of Dave Barry lately. Last Christmas, Sam gave me a Dave Barry daily calendar thing, you know, the ones where you tear off a sheet a day to reveal a new quote, or picture, or whatever. Those are the greatest. And since Dave is from the south, I thought our new redneck friend might also appreciate an excerpt or two from the calendar.
Tuesday, October 9, 2007.
It is time once again for Ask Mister Language Person, the award-winning column whose motto is: "People judge you by the way you talk, especially if you spit on them." Today, as is our usual custom, we will start with our first question, which is:
Q. Like most people, I would like to use the words "parameters" and "behoove" in the same sentence, but I am not sure how.
A. According to the Oxford English Cambridge Dictionary of Big Words, the proper usage is: "Darlene, it frankly does not behoove a woman of your parameters to wear them stretch pants."
Sunday, October 21, 2007
Interesting News & Great Company
Okay, I shared this with Sam yesterday, hoping that she would share it with everyone else. But we were both too busy to get this out. Now I may be late for my Sunday morning meetings, but I cannot contain myself any longer.
DUMBLEDORE IS GAY!!! It's true. J.K. Rowling outed him a couple days ago. There is a very interesting article on the BBC News site, here: http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/entertainment/7053982.stm I like her explanations and the way she handle it, for the most part.
Spread the word.
DUMBLEDORE IS GAY!!! It's true. J.K. Rowling outed him a couple days ago. There is a very interesting article on the BBC News site, here: http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/entertainment/7053982.stm I like her explanations and the way she handle it, for the most part.
Spread the word.
Saturday, October 13, 2007
Facebook Consumption
Okay, I haven't been earnestly putting up small, frequent posts like Ambrosia as I intended. I have been regularly checking and updating my Facebook page. Yeah, the ol' Bishop is on Facebook.
I remember a couple years ago when I was on the Stake High Council, the teenagers in our stake were getting into trouble on MySpace and on Facebook. The High Council members would talk to Bishoprics about the problems and tout the horrors of teenagers online. We also told parents to check up on their kids and get rid of their Facebook and MySpace accounts. Hahahah.
So hear that MySpace is not as "good" as Facebook. By "good" I mean safe. Of course, as Darrin Stevens, I did have a MySpace account for a little while, but I didn't really do anything with it, and never explored MySpace.
Facebook, I see, is fun. I found that many of my student ward members were on Facebook. So with Ammon-like optimism (Alma 17:27-30), I saw this as an opportunity. I opened an account (but did nothing for 2 months.)
Then I went back online, started my page, and invited some friends. Actually, I started my page previously when the wife of the first counselor in our Stake Presidency invited me to join as one of her friends. She's a GRANDMA, for heaven's sakes, and SHE is on Facebook! I searched for members of my ward and other students that I know at our Institute.
Once I started adding some "friends", I saw "Facebook Groups" and got an idea. I started a Facebook group, named it after my ward, and invited the members of my ward I could find. Lots of fun and ward unity! We are having a good time. Well, I am having a good time.
Of course, some people seem a little out of control. My 16-year-old niece keeps asking questions and inviting me to add ridiculous Facebook applications. My son, DJ, has started campaigning to run for President of the United States in 2028. I've joined his group in total support. But what's with "Invisible Children at...", "Worthy Priesthood Holders Who Love Rum Cake", "Awkward Turtle", and all the other crazy groups?
To add to my own amusement, I have decided that I know all my friends from very strange and/or unusual circumstances, like from a "Bulgarian orphanage", the "Stop Global Chilling" science team", we "lived on a desert island together from 1966 to 1971", or "we were tag-team thumb wrestling partners." I am not very creative, but I have come up with some that are pretty funny, at least to me.
I remember a couple years ago when I was on the Stake High Council, the teenagers in our stake were getting into trouble on MySpace and on Facebook. The High Council members would talk to Bishoprics about the problems and tout the horrors of teenagers online. We also told parents to check up on their kids and get rid of their Facebook and MySpace accounts. Hahahah.
So hear that MySpace is not as "good" as Facebook. By "good" I mean safe. Of course, as Darrin Stevens, I did have a MySpace account for a little while, but I didn't really do anything with it, and never explored MySpace.
Facebook, I see, is fun. I found that many of my student ward members were on Facebook. So with Ammon-like optimism (Alma 17:27-30), I saw this as an opportunity. I opened an account (but did nothing for 2 months.)
Then I went back online, started my page, and invited some friends. Actually, I started my page previously when the wife of the first counselor in our Stake Presidency invited me to join as one of her friends. She's a GRANDMA, for heaven's sakes, and SHE is on Facebook! I searched for members of my ward and other students that I know at our Institute.
Once I started adding some "friends", I saw "Facebook Groups" and got an idea. I started a Facebook group, named it after my ward, and invited the members of my ward I could find. Lots of fun and ward unity! We are having a good time. Well, I am having a good time.
Of course, some people seem a little out of control. My 16-year-old niece keeps asking questions and inviting me to add ridiculous Facebook applications. My son, DJ, has started campaigning to run for President of the United States in 2028. I've joined his group in total support. But what's with "Invisible Children at...", "Worthy Priesthood Holders Who Love Rum Cake", "Awkward Turtle", and all the other crazy groups?
To add to my own amusement, I have decided that I know all my friends from very strange and/or unusual circumstances, like from a "Bulgarian orphanage", the "Stop Global Chilling" science team", we "lived on a desert island together from 1966 to 1971", or "we were tag-team thumb wrestling partners." I am not very creative, but I have come up with some that are pretty funny, at least to me.
Sunday, September 23, 2007
I'm sick!
I don’t mean to say that I am all gay-ed out, just having finished my second Evergreen Conference. I started getting sick Friday night. By Saturday afternoon, I had it, a cold-like thing – sore throat, stuffed sinuses, aches, etc. I apologize for being so anti-social at ATP’s movie night.
The conference was another great weekend of my life! I love these friends of mine!!! I cry terribly as I think of the trials they have, and I know it’s not just SSA. But my heart leaps with joy when I can be with them. And for the hetero side, there were more good-looking and hetero girls there this year. Even more of the lesbians were good-looking. (I really like to see good-looking people.)
I learned more, and that is the point. Dave Matheson, Jeff Robinson, and Rich Wyler have got some good parts of the thing figured out, but no one has it all. They claim to have it all figured out, but I know otherwise. In a way, it is fun putting the puzzle together, but it would be nice if it could eventually end some day. We are getting ever closer.
I wish I could do more at the conference.
A big “YO” to my new friends: the coolest and very beautiful Stephalumpagus (I wish you were in my ward!), lunchtime friend Edgy Killer Bunny, the Bi-Coastal Warrior/Struggler, and the many others I met or met again this weekend. And of course it was most awesome to see Smurf, Pinetree, and our other good friends in (not quite) Zion.
Now I’ve got to gather my notes and remember what I learned. Oh, and "Warrior" is the new "Struggler."
The conference was another great weekend of my life! I love these friends of mine!!! I cry terribly as I think of the trials they have, and I know it’s not just SSA. But my heart leaps with joy when I can be with them. And for the hetero side, there were more good-looking and hetero girls there this year. Even more of the lesbians were good-looking. (I really like to see good-looking people.)
I learned more, and that is the point. Dave Matheson, Jeff Robinson, and Rich Wyler have got some good parts of the thing figured out, but no one has it all. They claim to have it all figured out, but I know otherwise. In a way, it is fun putting the puzzle together, but it would be nice if it could eventually end some day. We are getting ever closer.
I wish I could do more at the conference.
A big “YO” to my new friends: the coolest and very beautiful Stephalumpagus (I wish you were in my ward!), lunchtime friend Edgy Killer Bunny, the Bi-Coastal Warrior/Struggler, and the many others I met or met again this weekend. And of course it was most awesome to see Smurf, Pinetree, and our other good friends in (not quite) Zion.
Now I’ve got to gather my notes and remember what I learned. Oh, and "Warrior" is the new "Struggler."
Tuesday, September 04, 2007
Stinking Mohos
I must be spending too much time with Mohos and moho stuff. I think it is starting to rub off onto me. A girl at work cut her hair and think it s really cute. I kept thinking that everytime I saw her today. Stinking Mohos.
My new favorite blog is Ambrosia Ananas'. It's just great! She is awesome. I am going to try to write more like her - brief and to the point, and more often.
My new favorite blog is Ambrosia Ananas'. It's just great! She is awesome. I am going to try to write more like her - brief and to the point, and more often.
Tuesday, July 10, 2007
Tagged, I'm one of 'em
See the origin of this plague here, and here. I'm not sure who started it first.
Look for your name at the bottom.
THE RULES
1. All right, here are the rules.
2. We have to post these rules before we give you the facts.
3. Players start with eight (8) random facts/habits about themselves.
4. People who are tagged write their own blog about their eight (8) things and post these rules.
5. At the end of your blog, you need to choose eight (8) people to get tagged and list their names. Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them they’re tagged, and to read your blog.
And adding one of my own,
6. Try not to tag those who have already been tagged.
My Random Facts
1. The stuff (non-people) that I love the most: chocolate, cars, italian food, fishing, the Atonement of Jesus Christ.
2. I do HTML and organic website SEO.
3. I cannot hold down my pinkies with my thumbs (to show the number 3 on my fingers.) I damaged both my thumbs playing football in high school.
4. I love to watch the Food Network and Speed TV.
5. I don't read. I CAN read, I just don't. I much prefer pictures. There is a Mexican restaurant in our town that has most of their menu in pictures. When I get a menu without the pictures, I'm lost.
6. If I could go anywhere in the world for a few years, it would be Brussels - good food, good people, good climate, my favorite chocolate.
7. I love cars. They are perhaps my greatest non-human passion. I am even a car bigot. I refuse to own any car that is Swedish or Korean, a Nissan, or a Dodge/Chrysler/Plymouth, unless it is from the 60's. I would prefer a rear-engine, German, sports car, like a Porsche 911-SC or an old Bug. I used to have a '67 Bug. Sam hated it. I loved it.
8. I have a brief, vivid, childhood memory. When I recounted it to my mother, her eyes grew to the size of saucers and her chin hit the floor. It was the scene of my first birthday.
TAG, YOU'RE IT!
Now it's your turn: Wife of a gay Mormon, Smurf Yourself, Pinetree, thrasius, and mormon enigma. I don't really know many people out there. I'm a lousy bogger. So I decline to add more.
Copy the rules into your post and follow them. Then tag 8 other people, who, preferably, have not yet been tagged.
Already tagged, many times: Samantha, Calvin, Stephen, Stephalumpagus, Kengo Biddles, Mulan, playasinmar, AttemptingThePath.
Look for your name at the bottom.
THE RULES
1. All right, here are the rules.
2. We have to post these rules before we give you the facts.
3. Players start with eight (8) random facts/habits about themselves.
4. People who are tagged write their own blog about their eight (8) things and post these rules.
5. At the end of your blog, you need to choose eight (8) people to get tagged and list their names. Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them they’re tagged, and to read your blog.
And adding one of my own,
6. Try not to tag those who have already been tagged.
My Random Facts
1. The stuff (non-people) that I love the most: chocolate, cars, italian food, fishing, the Atonement of Jesus Christ.
2. I do HTML and organic website SEO.
3. I cannot hold down my pinkies with my thumbs (to show the number 3 on my fingers.) I damaged both my thumbs playing football in high school.
4. I love to watch the Food Network and Speed TV.
5. I don't read. I CAN read, I just don't. I much prefer pictures. There is a Mexican restaurant in our town that has most of their menu in pictures. When I get a menu without the pictures, I'm lost.
6. If I could go anywhere in the world for a few years, it would be Brussels - good food, good people, good climate, my favorite chocolate.
7. I love cars. They are perhaps my greatest non-human passion. I am even a car bigot. I refuse to own any car that is Swedish or Korean, a Nissan, or a Dodge/Chrysler/Plymouth, unless it is from the 60's. I would prefer a rear-engine, German, sports car, like a Porsche 911-SC or an old Bug. I used to have a '67 Bug. Sam hated it. I loved it.
8. I have a brief, vivid, childhood memory. When I recounted it to my mother, her eyes grew to the size of saucers and her chin hit the floor. It was the scene of my first birthday.
TAG, YOU'RE IT!
Now it's your turn: Wife of a gay Mormon, Smurf Yourself, Pinetree, thrasius, and mormon enigma. I don't really know many people out there. I'm a lousy bogger. So I decline to add more.
Copy the rules into your post and follow them. Then tag 8 other people, who, preferably, have not yet been tagged.
Already tagged, many times: Samantha, Calvin, Stephen, Stephalumpagus, Kengo Biddles, Mulan, playasinmar, AttemptingThePath.
Monday, July 09, 2007
Corrections and Lessons
First the corrections. It's Jason, not Joshua. Sorry, Jared, I mean Jerry. Sam says I am a lousy blogger. No correction there. I just don't have time to keep up. And my favorite writers don't write often enough, like Pinetree, Smurf, and Tito. There are others that I have met, and love, but I don't know where their blogs are, and I just can't keep all the names straight. Perhaps if I had more time to spend online...
My local Mohos (in my YSA ward) have not been around. One went home for the Summer, and the other just hasn't been around. One of them and I went to the Dave Matheson fireside a few months ago. I have been thinking a lot about it since then. At first, I think he over simplified things. He seemed to say that if you would just remove the blockages in your life that prevented the natural heterosexual development, you can then become a heterosexual. Hmmmm, ... remove the blockages... We joked about it a bit afterwords. "Yeah, just take your homo laxatives and you'll be all right."
Tito actually helped me to take him more seriously. I have actually thought about a lot since then. Certainly, he couldn't have given us all the complexity in just one brief fireside. On the long drive back home the next day, I talked more about with this guy in my ward. He had been thinking about quite a bit too. He finally admitted that there had been some relationship issues between he and his father as he was growing up - a blockage. He figures that this probably did affect the development of his sexual identity. Interesting.
Obviously there can be many different kinds of blockages in the life of a child - an absent parent, sexual abuse, mental abuse, conflicting interests of the parents, lack of understanding of life principles, excessive pressure to live a certain way (like living the Gospel), fear of disappointment, etc. As combine this with the info I have gained from Evergreen and other sources, things start to make more sense, and I feel I can understand a little more. I admit that I still have a long way to go, and I am enjoying the ride. I love to learn.
Okay, the previous paragraph may sound weird. But I have witnessed some of our young moho friends who struggle more when there is more stress and strife in their lives, than when there isn't. And I have witnessed many other people who give in to temptation and struggles, even alcoholism, when they are burdened with other problems.
So stress, depression, fatigue, anxiety, and other negative impressions that beat down on a person probably make the SSA worse at times. These are the same things that I have seen that cause others to have problems with pornography, masturbation, and other sexual immorality and chastity issues. These things also cause people to neglect their prayers, scripture study, and meeting attendance. And they diminish one's faith. Interesting.
I know there is a lot more to it. But these are just some of the things I've learned lately. What have you learned?
My local Mohos (in my YSA ward) have not been around. One went home for the Summer, and the other just hasn't been around. One of them and I went to the Dave Matheson fireside a few months ago. I have been thinking a lot about it since then. At first, I think he over simplified things. He seemed to say that if you would just remove the blockages in your life that prevented the natural heterosexual development, you can then become a heterosexual. Hmmmm, ... remove the blockages... We joked about it a bit afterwords. "Yeah, just take your homo laxatives and you'll be all right."
Tito actually helped me to take him more seriously. I have actually thought about a lot since then. Certainly, he couldn't have given us all the complexity in just one brief fireside. On the long drive back home the next day, I talked more about with this guy in my ward. He had been thinking about quite a bit too. He finally admitted that there had been some relationship issues between he and his father as he was growing up - a blockage. He figures that this probably did affect the development of his sexual identity. Interesting.
Obviously there can be many different kinds of blockages in the life of a child - an absent parent, sexual abuse, mental abuse, conflicting interests of the parents, lack of understanding of life principles, excessive pressure to live a certain way (like living the Gospel), fear of disappointment, etc. As combine this with the info I have gained from Evergreen and other sources, things start to make more sense, and I feel I can understand a little more. I admit that I still have a long way to go, and I am enjoying the ride. I love to learn.
Okay, the previous paragraph may sound weird. But I have witnessed some of our young moho friends who struggle more when there is more stress and strife in their lives, than when there isn't. And I have witnessed many other people who give in to temptation and struggles, even alcoholism, when they are burdened with other problems.
So stress, depression, fatigue, anxiety, and other negative impressions that beat down on a person probably make the SSA worse at times. These are the same things that I have seen that cause others to have problems with pornography, masturbation, and other sexual immorality and chastity issues. These things also cause people to neglect their prayers, scripture study, and meeting attendance. And they diminish one's faith. Interesting.
I know there is a lot more to it. But these are just some of the things I've learned lately. What have you learned?
Tuesday, July 03, 2007
A GREAT Weekend With the Mohos,and straight girls
Sam and I are finishing up a tremendous weekend. We went to Utah and met way cool people, some of whom were also just there for the weekend (or otherwise temporarily.) We met for the first time, in person, Elbow, Jared & Leslie, Drex & Salad, Hybrid, and several others. I got to go to the Matis' FHE for the first time, and had a BALL! We had dinners and lunches with the absolute best company! And be got to spend time with some our favorite friends, like AtP and Tito. There are too many names to mention and I am too old to remember to mention everybody.
I love these experiences because I love to be with great people and I love to learn. I learned more about SSA this weekend. I know this might sound "gay", but it is incredible how much my heart is growing so that I can accommodate more love for these friends of mine. I really wish I was independently wealthy and retired so that we could afford the time to be with them more often.
Another frustration - I don't know to share what (little) understanding I have with the other church leaders. They need to spend time on the queerosphere and with these coolio people. I don't see it happening soon, but maybe sometime... Perhaps I can talk one or two of my fellow bishops into coming to the E.I. conferernce in September. That would be cool, and maybe a shock for them too. Hah!
Got to go eat with the straight relatives now. Not as fun, but they are harboring newly born wild ducklings.
I love these experiences because I love to be with great people and I love to learn. I learned more about SSA this weekend. I know this might sound "gay", but it is incredible how much my heart is growing so that I can accommodate more love for these friends of mine. I really wish I was independently wealthy and retired so that we could afford the time to be with them more often.
Another frustration - I don't know to share what (little) understanding I have with the other church leaders. They need to spend time on the queerosphere and with these coolio people. I don't see it happening soon, but maybe sometime... Perhaps I can talk one or two of my fellow bishops into coming to the E.I. conferernce in September. That would be cool, and maybe a shock for them too. Hah!
Got to go eat with the straight relatives now. Not as fun, but they are harboring newly born wild ducklings.
Sunday, April 08, 2007
What's up with the MoHo's?
MoHo is the new definitive term for those who have same-gender attraction and are faithfully striving to live the gospel of Jesus Christ according to the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. See Tito's latest post. He actually gives an excellent definition and he completely covers the proper usage of the term. I think his post should be copied and used as a Wikipedia entry for "MoHo." Since I am not a MoHo, I do not feel qualified to do this myself.
In fact, I am feeling a bit left out. I want a cool new nickname too. Since I am not a MoHo, but I do feel very close to them, I am hereby declaring myself a FOTM. It rhymes with "bottom." FOTM is a word that is actually an acronym that stands for "Friend of the MoHo's." This term is reserved for true supporters and lovers of the MoHo's, not just FagHags and the like. It for those who go to Evergreen conferences even though they are not same sex attracted. It is for the hetero people who blog about MoHo stuff, and do so in a positive and loving way.
Okay, FOTM may resemble FOB. In no way do I wish to be associated with Master FOB or any FOBs. Though my heart and prayers go out to his amazing and wonderful soon-to-be ex-wife, I do not know him, nor am I a follower of him. I am just stealing his idea.
There were other possibilities that I considered, but it is after midnight and I am tired. For example, I thought of "Supporters of the MoHo's", but that would be SOTM, and that makes me think of Sodom and Gomorrah. Oh, FOTM might be a good word for Anti-Scrabble players.
Are there other FOTMs out there? If you now of one, or think you may be one, please comment and let know. I think our definition should closely follow Tito's of the MoHo's. So please explain your qualifications.
I suppose I ought to explain mine. I feel am a faithful latter-day saint. I am quite active in the Church, and serve faithfully in my calling. I confessed lately that I canNOT deny the feelings I have had, feeling the Spirit bear witness of the truthfulness of the Gospel. At the same time, I have developed friendships and a strong brotherly love (yes, LOVE) for my same sex attracted friends, like Tito, Smurf, Pinetree, ATP, NakedNative, Steve (see post below), and others. I think there ARE some good FOTMs out there, they just don't know of their new name yet. Some of those might be Wiggle, FoxyJ, and AGirlWho. We could be friends, brothers, sisters, spouses, parents, kids, or other relations of MoHo's.
FOTMs, united and let yourself be known. MoHo's, we're here for you. I look forward to the next conference, to seeing my wonderful MoHo friends, and hopefully meeting some new FOTM friends.
In fact, I am feeling a bit left out. I want a cool new nickname too. Since I am not a MoHo, but I do feel very close to them, I am hereby declaring myself a FOTM. It rhymes with "bottom." FOTM is a word that is actually an acronym that stands for "Friend of the MoHo's." This term is reserved for true supporters and lovers of the MoHo's, not just FagHags and the like. It for those who go to Evergreen conferences even though they are not same sex attracted. It is for the hetero people who blog about MoHo stuff, and do so in a positive and loving way.
Okay, FOTM may resemble FOB. In no way do I wish to be associated with Master FOB or any FOBs. Though my heart and prayers go out to his amazing and wonderful soon-to-be ex-wife, I do not know him, nor am I a follower of him. I am just stealing his idea.
There were other possibilities that I considered, but it is after midnight and I am tired. For example, I thought of "Supporters of the MoHo's", but that would be SOTM, and that makes me think of Sodom and Gomorrah. Oh, FOTM might be a good word for Anti-Scrabble players.
Are there other FOTMs out there? If you now of one, or think you may be one, please comment and let know. I think our definition should closely follow Tito's of the MoHo's. So please explain your qualifications.
I suppose I ought to explain mine. I feel am a faithful latter-day saint. I am quite active in the Church, and serve faithfully in my calling. I confessed lately that I canNOT deny the feelings I have had, feeling the Spirit bear witness of the truthfulness of the Gospel. At the same time, I have developed friendships and a strong brotherly love (yes, LOVE) for my same sex attracted friends, like Tito, Smurf, Pinetree, ATP, NakedNative, Steve (see post below), and others. I think there ARE some good FOTMs out there, they just don't know of their new name yet. Some of those might be Wiggle, FoxyJ, and AGirlWho. We could be friends, brothers, sisters, spouses, parents, kids, or other relations of MoHo's.
FOTMs, united and let yourself be known. MoHo's, we're here for you. I look forward to the next conference, to seeing my wonderful MoHo friends, and hopefully meeting some new FOTM friends.
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