Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Modern Gay Politics: Part 1

Poli: from the latin, meaning 'many'; tics: little insects that burrow under your skin and suck the blood out of you. Hence - "Politics"

There is a lot of hubbub about California's Proposition 8, which would define marriage as "between one man and one woman." So not only does that exclude gay marriage, it also excludes plural marriage. Polygamy has actually never been outlawed. Bigamy has. And most polygamists go to jail for reasons other than plural marriage. But I digress. A 'yes' vote for Prop 8 means no gay marriage, in California.

There has been a lot of discussion among church members about this, especially SSA church members. Some even think that, "I would never do it, but should be permissible for others to have that choice. Therefore, it should not be a law."

But it is already a law in the church, or at least official doctrine. In The Family: A Proclamation, it states:
The first commandment that God gave to Adam and Eve pertained to their potential for parenthood as husband and wife. We declare that God’s commandment for His children to multiply and replenish the earth remains in force. We further declare that God has commanded that the sacred powers of procreation are to be employed only between man and woman, lawfully wedded as husband and wife. ... The family is ordained of God. Marriage between man and woman is essential to His eternal plan. Children are entitled to birth within the bonds of matrimony, and to be reared by a father and a mother who honor marital vows with complete fidelity. Happiness in family life is most likely to be achieved when founded upon the teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ.
There it is. No room for gay marriage there. Sorry. Bummer. That is the doctrine and I believe it is eternal and true. The only marriage here is between a man and a woman.

I do not mean to be mean or critical. I think I now have many gay friends and truly wish they can find great happiness in their lives. However, I will hold to the doctrine.

(more in Part 2)

Monday, October 27, 2008

Cell Phone Faux Pas

My job involves service to businesses and organizations. I am typically in 3 to 6 different places a day. Today I had an interesting experience. I happen to be working near the restroom of a large real estate company. During the hour and a half that I was there, that restroom stayed pretty busy.

But then I noticed a lady coming down the hall talking on her cell phone. I though, "No, she won't head for the restroom - not while she's talking on the phone." She headed right for it. I am thinking quickly in the back of my mind while I work, "She'll get off just before she goes in. Bathrooms echo. The person on the end will know..." Nope. She went in and kept talking. I could hear the bathroom echo sound. Before long, I hear the toilet flush, and out she comes, still talking on the phone. "(NNNoooooooooo.... You can't DO that!)"

What was the person on the other end of the call thinking? What was this lady thinking??? What would you think if you were talking to someone, all of a sudden it sounds like they are in a small, tiled room, and then you hear a toilet flush close by???

So ... list of things to NOT do while talking on the cell phone: drive, walk down the street (I've seen people walk out into traffic), shower, chop vegetables, shave, operate a construction crane (or any heavy machinery), race cars, race boats, race anything, juggle machetes, perform a prostate exam, use the toilet. Uh, what else?

Sunday, October 26, 2008

Baptismal Slides

Funny thoughts. So I am a bishop. We recently had a special "Bishops and Ward Mission Leaders" meeting with the Stake Presidency. Baptisms and retention are up. Yeah for us. I am also very close friends with our Stake President, who is Sam's father, and I know he has a great sense of humor. That's the background. Now for the story.

So I just got an email from the Stake President (Maurice?) with an attachment. The email is entitled "Slides for High Baptizing Wards." Naturally, I see the word 'slides' and think of the slippery playground device. So I start imagining some hilarious picture of a baptismal font, with a man dressed in white standing in the middle of it, people being helped out of the font to the left, one at a time, and a line of people waiting to go down a pool-like slide into the font on the right side - a baptismal assembly line with a slide to help speed things up.

What I got instead was a PowerPoint presentation designed for new Mission Presidents. It was mostly text and not funny at all. I am so irreverent!

Sunday, October 12, 2008

Time for Change

Okay, I've been gone long enough. And I NEED to get back to writing. Baby steps, though...

My computer (laptop) that I have had for 6 1/2 years crashed on me this past week. It seemed irreparable, so I got a new one. Fun. But being a professionally educated idiot with a Masters Degree in business technology, I certainly did NOT have any of my precious files backed up somewhere.

So I am sitting here in my Bishop's office with my new lappy and counseling with one of my ward members about coping with family stresses, depression, anxiety, abuse, etc. We talk about writing, keeping a journal, counselors, etc. I bring up the subject of blogs, and suggest a few to her to read. I suggest that she might also find it somewhat helpful to write about her thoughts and feelings where others could give her feedback without knowing who she is. She ius quite strong and I think she could handle it.

Then a thought comes to mind, "YOU (meaning me) need to get back to it too!" Fine.

So I have a new member in my ward, a young man, first year in college. He comes to me and confesses he struggles with masturbation and SSA. "YOU'VE COME TO THE RIGHT PLACE," I assure him. Now what do I do? Okay, I'm an idiot. I regurgitate some of the rhetoric that I have picked up over the last couple years from Evergreen, Northern Lights, etc.

But I don't really know how to HELP him. I must be getting really old. I am sending him to YOU, all you other bloggers out there - mainly my favorite ones and those of who who will not destroy him.

As Fall approaches, I am noticing more flat rabbits on the highways. Interesting.

I have a great YSA ward. We had a tremendous Fast-and-Testimony meeting today. The Spirit was definitely strong. Hearts were touched.

Have you seen the new Picasso emoticons? %\ .^