The last couple of days of Dave Barry have been too good to keep to myself.
Tuesday, November 20, 2007
TODAY'S ETIQUETTE TOPIC IS: Proper Table Manners.
The rules of etiquette can be tricky. Suppose you sit down to a formal dinner, and there are three forks at your place setting. Which fork should you use? The answer - and here I am quoting from the classic reference work, The Amy and Bud Vanderbilt Guide to Table Manners and Boat Repair - is "the cleanest fork." Using your left hand, and starting with the outside fork, hold each fork up and examine it for signs of crud; if you see any, you should, without drawing attention to yourself, switch it with a fork taken from the person sitting to your immediate right.
Wednesday, November 21, 2007
Sir Isaac Newton, the brilliant mathematician, invented calculus, which is defined as"the branch of mathematics that is so scary it causes everybody to stop studying mathematics." That's the whole POINT of calculus. At college and universities, on the first day of calculus class, the professors go to the board and write huge incomprehensible "equations" that they make up right on the spot, knowing this will cause all the students to drop the course and never return to the mathematics building ever again.
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1 comment:
Thanks. These make me happy. Dave Barry is so great.
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